Sunday, August 10, 2008

Jammer - not a job for me!

With my pending job search looming in a few month's time, I've decided to begin by eliminating those I definitely do not want. Top of my list at the moment for career paths I will not be pursuing is being a "Jammer" for a women's roller derby team.

Our fab host fam took us on Friday night to see a scrimmage of the Denver Roller Dolls (where Julie's hairdresser, Gabe, is an announcer named Evel Con Evel). If you have never been to a roller derby, YOU MUST GO. There is nothing quite like it...

Women, some big and burly, others sleek and speedy, dress in fishnets and rollerskates with matching colored wheels, and have names like Enya Biznass, Fonda Pain, Judo No and Angela Death. They race around a tiny track, trying to help their team's Jammer, while hindering the path of the opposing Jammer.

The Jammers, who start 20 feet or so behind the rest of the pack of skaters, have to make their way through the pack, then get around quick to lap the pack. They get a point for every person on the opposing team that they lap.

Now officially, its illegal to throw elbows and trip people, but roller derby a bit like hockey, in that the penalty-causing behavior is exactly what the PBR-drinking crowd is there to see. Plus, there was a frisbee-catching dog show at halftime. The trainers tossed a constant stream of frisbees to frolicking dogs who would jump on the trainer's back, or knee, or in some cases over their (sitting) heads, to grab the frisbees. (Let's talk about another job I don't want...)

The whole evening was entertaining, and if you can handle the baudy side (like Dump Truck, Scott's favorite announcer, who wore a pink cutoff t-shirt, a diaper and cowboy boots, with a mohawk and a tattoo that said "ridiculous" in three-inch letters that arched over his beer belly), it is well worth the trip.

If you're in the Denver area, swing by the Fillmore Auditorium next month when the Denver Roller Dolls battle the Minnesota Roller Girls! How I wish I could be there...

1 comment:

Wayne Schmieg said...

I remember watching Roller Derby when I was a kid. It was on right after wrestling. Ahh... magical youth. The announcer was a wimpy man in a suit and glasses. I suppose he could have had a tattoo on his beer gut; people didn't let it all hang out at that time.